Cycling the Dutch way.

Posted on 20 julio 2009. Filed under: Amsterdam | Etiquetas: , , |

A friend of our new friend, Mr Amsterdamize, was in Amsterdam a while ago and drew a comic (apparently that is what he does) about his experience: Un amigo de nuestro nuevo amigo, Mr Amsterdamize, estuvo en Amsterdam hace algún tiempo y dibujó un cómic sobre su experiencia (hay gente que hace esas cosas):

[amsterdamizing tourists]

Ha ha ha ha! How funny! my ribs are bursting with laughter! aren’t these guys witty?

So now we know: the celebrated “dutch way of cycling” is fucking pedestrians in their own space, taking advantage of the sheer number of bikes, while the cars move happily undisturbed on the roadway.

And if you are new to Amsterdam and are pissed off by the flock of idiots on bikes swarming around you from all sides, you know what you have to do: get a bike yourself and join the assholes! start having fun abusing your ex-fellow pedestrians! Don’t touch the roadway with your bike if there is a bike lane, though! in the Netherlands that is illegal!

It gives a completely new meaning to the verb “amsterdamize“, uh? As in “Tom went to the Netherlands and got amsterdamized by a cyclist. He spent the first day in hospital”.

Yes, that must be what some idiots call “the healthy Dutch cycling culture“. That same “culture” that our bikelanists want to emulate.

So, let’s do something funny: let’s improve the comic! I’ve added a question for that idiot… what do you think would be his answer? It is not only them who are allowed to have fun, is it?

Ja ja ja ja! Ay, que risa! me duelen las costillas de tanto reirme. Hay que ver que ocurrentes son estos chicos, eh?

Así que ahora lo sabemos: el tan celebrado “uso de la bicicleta holandés” consiste en dar por culo a los peatones en su propio espacio, aprovechándose del puro número de bicis, mientras los coches circulan felizmente y sin ser molestados por la calzada.

Y si usted es nuevo en Amsterdam y está encabronado con los rebaños de idiotas en bici que le pasan rozando por todos lados, ya sabe lo que tiene que hacer: ¡consiga una bici y únase a los jilipollas! ¡empiece a divertirse abusando de sus ex-compañeros peatones! Pero tenga cuidado de no tocar la calzada con la bici si hay un carril-bici cerca: ¡en Holanda eso es ilegal!

Le da un significado completamente nuevo al verbo amsterdamizar“, ¿eh? Como en “Pepe fue a Holanda y un ciclista le amsterdamizó. Pasó su primer dia en el hospital”.

Pues sí, eso debe ser lo que algunos idiotas consideran “la envidiable cultura ciclista holandesa“. Esa misma “cultura” que nuestro carrilbicistass celtibéricos piensan que deberíamos emular.

Bueno, vamos a hacer nosotros también algo divertido: ¡vamos a mejorar el comic! He añadido una pregunta para ese idiota… ¿Cual crees que podría ser su respuesta? No vamos a dejar que sean ellos los únicos que se diviertan, ¿no?

[amsterdamizing tourists]

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Txarli

CiudadCiclista | Lista de correo | Wiki CC

Más comics sobre carrilbicistas aquí y aquí.

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7 comentarios to “Cycling the Dutch way.”

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“Why should I miss all the fun?”

Speaking of idiots:

What part of the JOKE ‘The hardest part was hitting the ground after avoiding disoriented tourists who wandered in front of me..etc’ don’t you get?

a) the cyclist in question would be in a bike lane, as he’s supposed to
b) tourists often step onto the bike lane without looking, which they obviously are not supposed to do, it’s just takes a little bit of adjustment after arrival. It’s a fact and the locals deal with it.
c) the local riders are not road warriors and blood thirsty and just deal with that fact, ergo: they try to [quote] “avoid” [unquote] them
d) the artist is like many others: never been able to ride properly in their country because of your celebrated ‘vehicular cycling’, so their Amsterdam experience is awesome
e) the whole joke: the antagonist starts out as a ‘disoriented tourist’ and ends with ranting on himself (aka, the disoriented tourist)…

Do I need to spell it out even more to get it through your thick little skull, you bone head?

Stop acting like a child, it’s embarrassing.

Speaking to idiot:

What part of the JOKE don’t you get?

What part of the REALITY don’t you get?

the cyclist in question would be in a bike lane, as he’s supposed to

Supposed to be in the bikelane? supposed by who? by you? The cyclist is supposed by me to be on the roadway, and I have just as much right as you (and much more solid reasons than you) to suppose that.

tourists often step onto the bike lane without looking, which they obviously are not supposed to do, it’s just takes a little bit of adjustment after arrival. It’s a fact and the locals deal with it.

Oh, I get it now! so both “tourists” and “locals” just need “a little bit of adjustment” to deal with your cycling idiocy, right? And lets not forget the car drivers either, who also need “a little adjustment” and “some extra care” to protect you from the kafkaesque segregated structures that you are so proud of. You know what? I can’t tell for sure whether dutch cyclists are a bunch of retarded idiots, but the dutch segregated network certainly seems built on the assumption that they are.

And, in fact, it does seem to have a noticeable idiotifying effect, if you are an example to judge by.

the local riders are not road warriors and blood thirsty and just deal with that fact, ergo: they try to [quote] “avoid” [unquote] them

Oh, yeah, and they have to slow down, dodge, stop, dismount, and even then they get plenty of bruises trying to do it, whereas they could just ride happily and safe on the roadway, only that they refuse (and by now are forbidden) to do it. Clever, uh? Idiotifying effect indeed.

the artist is like many others: never been able to ride properly in their country because of your celebrated ‘vehicular cycling’,

The artist is like many others: he has swallen whole the poisonous segregationist propaganda that has been inoculating fear and ignorance in the population about the dangers of natural cycling as a tactic in the campaign to market the idiotic “dutch style bikelanes” as the solution to a problem that didn’t exist before the segregationist nonsense was invented.

And you, man, are a living example of that ignorance: you have no fucking idea what “vehicular cycling” is.

Do I need to spell it out even more to get it through your thick little skull, you bone head?

Stop acting like a child, it’s embarrassing.

I should think that the only reason why you don’t find it painful being such a retarded pompous dickhead is because you just don’t have enough neurons in your head to register the pain.

Cheers.

Pues imagínate, aquí en Albacete, intentan hacer cultura ciclista, y aquí se lo saltan todos por la torera.
Toma, lee
http://laesquinadeltuerto.blogspot.com/2009/05/seguimos-con-la-bici-y-el-carril-bici.html

Hola. Gracias por comentar. Te he respondido en tu blog.

[…] red integral de carriles-empuje (también llamados vías empujistas) en toda la ciudad. “En Holanda uno puede empujar su coche tranquilamente de un extremo a otro de Amsterdam sin ningún problema […]


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